How to make relationships really strong 💪

01 Jun 2016

How to make relationships really strong.

Strong relationships are great. Especially with your spouse, but also with your children, your extended family, your friends. And last but not least with your professional relationships as a leader or under peers. Strong relationships are great for your personal wellbeing and balance, for your professional performance and for how to deal with problems.

There are many ways to strengthen your relationships. Let’s present three main ones to you here:

The need to be seen, the need to be supported and the need to be safe and secure

If you want to make your relationship strong you have to give attention to these 3 main areas. They all go back to basic human needs that all of us have and which all of us need to get met in one way or the other.

1. The need to be Seen

It is about the question: “Do you see me for who I am?”

You can give me the feeling that I am seen by showing me that you are interested in my inner life, my opinions, my feelings, my dreams… That you tune into me and have empathy, you feel or understand what I feel. When you are interested to see the world through MY eyes, listen through MY ears, feel through MY heart, I will feel understood and accepted as I am. You really see me with all different facets of my being, my strong parts and as well the parts that could still be improved.

2. The need for Support

It is about the question: “Are you there for me when I need you?”

We all need the feeling of being backed up and soothed especially in challenging or overwhelming situations. Our trust in our partner increases tremendously when we feel his or her full support. To support our partner can be in very practical ways by helping to find solutions, give practical help. It can also mean emotional support by just being there, believing in him or her, soothing, helping to calm down and giving affirmation and assurance.

3. The need to feel Safe and Secure:

It‘s about the questions: “Do I really feel comfortable with you?”

Can you give me a feeling of belonging? Do I feel part of a WE? Do I feel a real connection with you? This feeling of belonging can lead to further commitment and trust.

The feeling of belonging is also connected to a feeling of being protected. When I truly belong to you I can be sure that you protect me from harm. If there are threats in my life I can count on you backing me up and supporting me. Feeling Safe and Secure gives me the opportunity to say what I have to say, without the threat to be judged too much.

All human beings, all men and women, need to feel seen, supported, safe and secure in order to strongly connect to the other person, be it your private partner or other important people in life.

What do these three topics bring up in you? What do they mean for you? Please share it with us if you want, we will all learn and grow from it.

In gratitude and togetherness, Robert & Ingeborg

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